Students See London, France, No One’s Underpants
CHICAGO, IL - Tim Daniels, 22, and Mark Suthers, 23, recent graduates of Northwestern University’s School of Business Administration, returned from Europe yesterday. And while overall it was an enjoyable trip, they report, neither returned any wiser in the ways of the world.
“Man, I heard all European chicks were supposed to be easy, especially the French,” Tim began, gesturing dejectedly as buddy Mark looked on. “We were over there for three weeks. We saw London, Paris, Germany, and neither of us got any action! Skip that, man.”
Mark agreed, “Yeah, we spent some nice time traveling by train, staying in youth hostels and cheap hotels. I speak decent French, and Tim can do Deustch passably. We figured it would be a great way to unwind after graduation. So we did it. We just wanted to relax, really, and see the sights, and, you know, maybe get ourselves a piece of foreign tail,” Mark confided with a wink.
“We always made sure our clothes were clean and pressed, because we figured anything’s got to be better than those smelly Frenchmen,” Tim added, chuckling. “Apparently it wasn’t.”
A myriad of photos and video footage revealed that the pair had generally good weather for the trip, as well as plenty of time to see everything they wanted.
“This one here,” Tim said, pointing to a photo, “we were standing right outside of the Louvre and we noticed a couple of hot French babes waiting around. Mark and I walked over to them and greeted them in their mother tongue,” Tim said. “We actually got a lot of mileage out of that ‘mother tongue’ reference. I thought it was hilarious. Anyway,” Tim continued, “we talked them into taking a picture of us, and then we asked them to have lunch with us. They agreed, so we found this frou frou bistro and settled in.”
“I was doing most of the talking, since Tim’s not as polished with French,” Mark said. “Things were going really well, I thought, so I decided to go for the ‘mother tongue’ joke. I was trying to put together a clever bit intertwining French kissing, being in France, and mother tongue. It either came out all wrong in the translation, or those chicks just had no sense of humor,” Mark explained, “but the next thing you know, they’re dumping their water glasses on us, calling us ‘bastards’, and leaving! It was quite a scene.”
“That was probably the worst strike out we had over there,” Tim said. “But it was all bad, considering that we didn’t even end up really talking to many girls, let alone scoring. Sure, the scenery was nice and overall it was quite relaxing, but it’s just not the same knowing we could have had a nice European babe. That would have been the ultimate graduation present!”
Both Tim and Mark expect to take a couple more weeks off before starting the interview process. They both would like to remain in the Chicago area and hopefully meet a couple of nice American women who understand them.