Local Man Lies About Having “Big Plans This Weekend”
UTICA, MI — After weeks of shamefully having to respond, “Nothing much” when asked about his potential big plans for the weekend, local office clerk Jeremy Silver broke down last Friday afternoon. “As I was leaving around 4:30, Jim from accounting asked me the same question he asks every Friday: ‘Got any big plans for the weekend?’ I tell you, I was just so sick and tired and not a little embarrassed that every week I’d answer, ‘Nothing much. How ‘bout you?’ and he’d go off and tell me about some party he was throwing, or a trip he was taking up north to go water skiing or something, that I had just had it! So before I even realized it, I told him, ‘Yeah, I’m probably gonna go to the casino on Saturday, and then maybe go golfing and have a barbecue with some friends on Sunday.’ I was just so tired of him bugging me about it that, yeah, maybe I told a little bitty lie. You try to deal with Farris every Friday! I mean, come on, he could have at least invited me to one of his parties. Not that I would have gone, but, geez! Common courtesy!”
Shamed clerk Silver
When asked for comment, Jim Farris, CPA, responded, “Well, it’s good to hear that stick-in-the-mud Silver is finally having some fun! I was starting to think that he didn’t have any friends! I mean, you never even hear him talking about girls. Not that I care, but, c’mon, you’ve got to have a little fun on the weekends if you’re gonna make it through the work-week! We need our employees refreshed and energized on Monday. The whole office was starting to talk about him!”
Monday dawned a new, yet not necessarily brighter, day at the office for Silver. After an early morning status meeting, Farris reportedly approached Jeremy and jokingly confronted him, “So, Silver, did ya have a good weekend? I was at the casino on Saturday and didn’t see you. Did ya have a good time?” Co-workers report that Jeremy mumbled something like, “Something came up”, and shuffled shamefacedly away, ostensibly to embark upon yet another day in his altogether too dull life.