Jeff Priskorn [dot] com

Man Leaves Heart, Wallet, Keys In San Francisco

Scottsdale, AZ — Returning yesterday from a memorable trip to the City by the Bay, local computer software salesman Walt Frier was both wistful and dismayed to realize that he had left not just his heart, but also his wallet and keys, in San Francisco. Standing alone on his porch, his luggage and a large bag of souvenirs at his feet, Frier mulled his options, as well as a sizable rock in his hand, while recounting his incredible trip to a group of reporters.

"Obviously, the Golden Gate Bridge was a highlight," Frier said, "but of course there was the Presidio and Alcatraz and just so many great restaurants. I fell in love with the city immediately – such a rich history! Haight-Ashbury. Nob Hill. Coit Tower. Such grand splendor. I never knew…" Frier trailed off, lost in his memories for a moment. "I even brought home some souvenirs," he said, pulling an "I Y San Francisco" key chain from the bag at his feet. "This is for my mom. I should take her next time. She's never been."

Turning to the mullioned windows of his darkened front door, he continued, "Ironic, huh? I bought her a key chain and lost my own damn keys!"

Unmarried and traveling alone, Frier also took in a San Francisco Giants baseball game and snapped photos of the famous Lombard Street, called "the crookedest street in the world."

"I was there on business, meeting with some clients for two days," Frier said, "and I just decided on the spur of the moment to stay for the weekend. I'm really glad I did." Patting the empty back pocket of his slacks, he grimaced. "Or at least I was. But the majesty of the place, man! I miss it already. You guys ever been?"

When asked about the presence of the stone in his hand, Frier shook his head sadly. "The city that so enraptured me and immediately captured my heart must have also fogged my brains. When I got to baggage claim back home at SCF I realized that I couldn't find my keys or my wallet," he explained. "Fortunately I had my passport and some cash in my pocket for cab fare, but now I have to deal with cancelling my credit cards, getting a new license, all that crap."

Taking a deep breath, he gazed into the far northwest corner of his memory for a time before continuing. "But don't for a second think I blame the wonderful city of San Francisco. I'd lose my wallet a hundred times over if it meant I could behold her dazzling beauty once more. Even the fog was like a mirror, turning the city inside out and reflecting its innermost secrets. Wow!"

He added, "It's really foggy up there, you know."

Tossing the stone in his right hand a few times, Frier began to brood. "If mom doesn't get here soon with my spare set, I'm going to have to break into my own house! Where is she?"

Asked to speculate on the whereabouts of his possessions, Frier chuckled humorlessly. "I could have dropped them anywhere I guess, or left them in the hotel room. I suppose somebody could have even picked my pocket and I would have never seen them, it's so foggy. Did I mention the fog?"

But the loss of his keys and wallet did not completely erase the joy he experienced while visiting the famed Paris of the West. "Next time I go, and I'll definitely be back, I think I'll spend a whole week or so, just drinking in the history and culture of the place. Maybe see the Museum of Modern Art, ride a cable car into Chinatown. Just fully immerse myself in the sheer breathtaking glory of it all. I mean, there's just so much to see and do there. God, how amazing!"

After a moment's reflection, he added, "Now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure I left my keys and wallet at the brothel."

Copyright © 2011, Jeff Priskorn. All rights reserved.