Jeff Priskorn [dot] com

Local Man Lies About Having
"Big Plans This Weekend"

UTICA, MI After weeks of shamefully having to respond, "Nothing much" when asked about his potential big plans for the weekend, local office clerk Jeremy Silver broke down last Friday afternoon. "As I was leaving around 4:30, Jim from accounting asked me the same question he asks every Friday: 'Got any big plans for the weekend?' I tell you, I was just so sick and tired and not a little embarrassed that every week I'd answer, 'Nothing much. How 'bout you?' and he'd go off and tell me about some party he was throwing, or a trip he was taking up north to go water skiing or something, that I had just had it! So before I even realized it, I told him, 'Yeah, I'm probably gonna go to the casino on Saturday, and then maybe go golfing and have a barbecue with some friends on Sunday.' I was just so tired of him bugging me about it that, yeah, maybe I told a little bitty lie. You try to deal with Farris every Friday! I mean, come on, he could have at least invited me to one of his parties. Not that I would have gone, but, geez! Common courtesy!"

When asked for comment, Jim Farris, CPA, responded, "Well, it's good to hear that stick-in-the-mud Silver is finally having some fun! I was starting to think that he didn't have any friends! I mean, you never even hear him talking about girls. Not that I care, but, c'mon, you've got to have a little fun on the weekends if you're gonna make it through the work-week! We need our employees refreshed and energized on Monday. The whole office was starting to talk about him!"

Shamed clerk Silver

Monday dawned a new, yet not necessarily brighter, day at the office for Silver. After an early morning status meeting, Farris reportedly approached Jeremy and jokingly confronted him, "So, Silver, did ya have a good weekend? I was at the casino on Saturday and didn't see you. Did ya have a good time?" Co-workers report that Jeremy mumbled something like, "Something came up", and shuffled shamefacedly away, ostensibly to embark upon yet another day in his altogether too dull life.

Copyright 2000, Jeff Priskorn. All rights reserved.